Category Archives for Thoughts

Life in General

I won’t lie and say that life has been awesome la-dee-da.

There’s a constant flow of things going through my mind, a ton of what-ifs and a load of uncertainty. I’ve been an adult for a couple of years now, but it’s kicking in, the realities of being a grown-up.. Buying my first car, possibly my first property (soon) and ensuring financial stability for my future.

But then, I see people getting sick, getting cancer, and worse still, dying.. Let’s not even start on all the man-created and human disasters.

And I ask myself, how can my problems even compare to these/theirs?

I’m not saying to be a bum, just chillax by the beach all day and live under a bridge. What I’m saying is that if we put things in perspective, what we normally consider “crisis” in our lives are nothing but a fleeting moment.

More importantly, I’m blessed with the things that money can’t buy. A loving and healthy family, a supportive partner and a group of girlfriends (and some guys) who are always there for me.

To end it off, here’s a verse I take comfort in whenever I feel like I’m ‘losing it’

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

Jeremiah 29:11

Bowling over with LOVE

Bowling over with LOVE

When family is all over

With Chinese New Year approaching, I’ve started to notice the hustle and bustle of Chinatown.. People have gone out to buy new clothes to usher in the new year, some have even started preparing dishes for this auspicious occasion. To the Chinese, Chinese New Year is a big thing! It’s like Thanksgiving in America.

I don’t really have relatives in Singapore. Dad grew up in KL and mom in Penang. Dad has 12 other siblings and mom has 3 other sisters. And all these aunties and uncles of mine are strewn all over the world – in Malaysia, Australia and UK. I’ve such a big extended family that I’ve lost count of my cousins, nieces and nephews.

Previously, this distance was felt even in my own family. I was in Brisbane while my second sister was in Sydney. Well, it did help that I had a whole bunch of relatives in Australia. I would say that the only time I felt real bonding with my relatives was in Australia and I will forever cherish those memories – cousin dates, spending Sundays playing board games, BBQs at the porch etc.

In a way, I am envious of those with big extended families. No doubt, relatives can be nosey and gossipy but I still think that having a close family unit is something I’d strive to build amongst my siblings and I in future!

My cousins from Penang and Melbourne were in transit from Italy this week. And boy, was it fun! I’ll leave you with this picture.. Priceless if you ask me :)

Dinner

Best kind of dinners x

Hi there, 2013

Shine on, fighter

Shine on, fighter

Just like that, the new year has started.

2012 has been kind and I am so thankful. The people that matter are still by my side, healthy and happy. I got to explore multiple cities, try lots of delicious food and meet up with family members all over the world.

I’m blessed. And no matter how tough the going gets, I never forget that.

x

x

Another Year Older

I am so thankful for family and friends.

Over my birthday weekend, I felt nothing but love and more love. I have been really blessed. No doubt Iā€™ve had downs along the way but all in all, God has really taken good care of me.

To all the well wishes I received via text, whatsapp, Facebook etc., THANK YOU. Whether or not it was because of FB notifications (haha!), I am still grateful that you took the time to wish me well on my special day :)

Thanks to my family for having lunch with me. To mummy for ordering my favourite cheesecake, daddy for entertaining us with his lame jokes, Jaz for the super sweet birthday card that made me cry in a crowded restaurant, James for taking time out of his O level preparations, Aunty Mei for the angpow and Gong Gong and Popo for the birdā€™s nest and chocolates! I might not always show it in the right ways but family is extremely important to me <3

Thanks to all my friends who made my birthday surpriseā€¦ a surprise! All of you are very sneaky and really good at keeping secrets ā€“ I am really impressed (and a little worried)!! It was so nice to have everyone together. I was telling a couple of friends that since I moved to Australia and finally moved back to Singapore, Iā€™ve been finding it hard to find stability in my friendships. But itā€™s almost 3 years since Iā€™ve been back and I can safely say that Iā€™ve found my footing.

Iā€™ve been very blessed to have friends that have stuck through thick and thin with me. Shout out to all who came for dinner on Saturday:

  • Lena, thanks for being my BFF. Just knowing that I can call you in the middle of the night is extremely comforting ;) Cheers to many many more years of friendship ā€“ I LOVE YOU! Nada, you are in good hands!
  • Mel and CJ, both of you are too sweet and too cute. Thanks for preparing everything!! Thanks for forsaking gym Mel!! Lol. The restaurant was made more festive because of the both of you! And how can I forget the impressive birthday card ;) xx
  • Tannia and Eric, I am so happy for the both of you! Husband and wife ā€“ I must get used to saying that hehe. Thanks for coming and for the present and for being such great talk-cock-sing-song kakis!
  • POEPS! To be honest, I never expected our friendship to last this long. And I am sooooo happy! I love how we have no qualms about discussing fart, periods and all things yucky. I also love how we have no sense of shame (Ali, letā€™s do our legendary Titanic KTV again?). Thanks for the bling clutch ā€“ you guys know me too well!
  • My church friends ā€“ weā€™ve seen each other grow up and man, weā€™ve grown up well!! LOL! Thanks for all the whatsapp chats, mid-week meetups and for the weekly lunch outings after church. Huat ah!
  • Lup. I was very surprised to see you! Lol!! Thanks for capturing all the happy moments and for making everyone laugh at all your silly antics. Super funny la!!
  • Last but not the least, Kenny :) Thanks for being soo super sweet. Did our honeymoon ever end?! <3

Text-heavy post but I’ve just been too busy to blog! Hopefully the photos will come.. Someday… :)

Ingrid Michaelson at the Esplanade

Went to catch Ingrid Michaelson on Monday at the Esplanade and she’s really cute! Beautiful songs and such an entertainer. I googled and discovered she’s 33. Man, judging from her energy level and child-like demeanour, I thought she was 28 or somethin.

“I don’t cry, I don’t try anymoreĀ 
And I’m lost, broken down the middle of my hard heartĀ 
I’m broken down the middle”

“If you are chilly, here take my sweater.Ā 
Your head is aching, I’ll make it better.Ā 
Cuz I love the way you call me baby.Ā 
And you take me the way I am”

Her two backup singers cum guitarists were really good too! Not to mention one of them (with the crop cut) was really hawt!

“I donā€™t wanna be the first to let it goĀ 
But I know, I know, I knowĀ 
If you have the last hands that I want to holdĀ 
Then I know, Iā€™ve got, to let them go”


“I don’t tell anyone about the way you hold my hand
I don’t tell anyone about the things that we have planned
I won’t tell anybody, Won’t tell anybody
They wanna push me down, they wanna see you fall downI don’t need a parachute, baby if I’ve got you
Baby if I’ve got you, I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me, You’re gonna catch if I fall”

“Don’t you worry there my honey
We might not have any money
But we’ve got our love to pay the billsMaybe I think you’re cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do want bunnies do with you if you know what I mean”

Come back again!

Ingrid’s opening act was by Greg Laswell and he’s also really pleasant to the ears. They’re also newly wedded :D What an ideal pair! They did a song together – You See the Light in Me. It’s sooo sweet ;’)

“Oh baby, my baby,
Youā€™ve held me
through many broken hearts
And maybe, just maybe
You can fix all my broken parts“

During the concert, I had a sudden realisation. Ingrid started as a YouTube star.. Well she still kinda is (though she’s just launched an album, Human Again).. But wouldn’t it be cool if we got all our local acoustic bands together for a mass concert at Esplanade. Audiences will pay $20-30 for a 2 hour concert and each band will play 1-2 songs of their choice.

Yes, there’s baybeats but how about something indoors and something really local? Esplanade is such a Singapore icon and they bring in really awesome performers. So why not give our own struggling artistes a chance to perform in a world class venue with superb acoustics. It’s a great opportunities for locals to appreciate the talent we have at home. Moreover, a lot of these bands play really late into the night and because of that, majority of the working crowd never stay for the two/three full sets.

I think my idea will work. It’s great for everyone. The audience get to enjoy and appreciate our local talent, the musicians get a chance to perform at a top-notch concert hall and Singapore gets a bit more love ;)

Why am I broke?

I’m broke. There. I said it.

Always believed that if I can’t confess to something, I’m definitely in denial.

Bank account-wise, I’m in a terrible state. I’m not living on credit (hell, I won’t let that happen), but I’m broke. Considering how I’ve been working for almost 3 years, I’m PATHETIC.

So I sat down and thought to myself, “WHAT AM I SPENDING MY MONEY ON?”. You’ll be pleased to know that I’ve come up with a list of items. Perhaps, you’ll be similar to me and you’ll think, “hell, I better do something about it before I end up like Joy”.

1. FOOD

I spend SO MUCH on food it’s not even funny. I love eating. And to make matters worse, I love eating a variety of food. I can’t just order a burger at dinner. I have to order fries, wings, nuggets etc. on the side. I can’t just order a plate of fried rice. I have to order meat, vegetable, appetizers etc. I can easily order for four when it’s just the two of us. I’m a glutton and I won’t rebut that.

Food also includes morning coffee, after-dinner tea, snacks for work and of course alcohol. All these don’t seem like a lot when you buy them separately but when you put them together, geez, they add up to quite a bit. And then I spend yet another lump on the gym because I can’t just eat and not feel horrible about myself. WHAT A SILLY VICIOUS CYCLE! This brings me to my second point.

2. Gym

I pay about $150 for my Fitness First membership. Why? Because my company isn’t affiliated to Fitness First so I pay the full monthly fee. I could have signed up with other gyms that are much cheaper. But! There’s a Fitness First right down the road from where I work at, there’s also one that’s an MRT stop away from where I stay and they also have a nice big and quiet branch at Fusionopolis. They also have good classes and convenience is really important to me. I sometimes run during lunch (because evenings are meant for relaxing and pigging out) and it helps to make me feel less guilty so I guess this is the only item that I won’t be able to do much about.

3. Holidays

It’s a known fact that I love travelling. I want to travel the world. I REALLY want to travel the world. The Earth is amazing, why coop up at home when there’s so much to explore! I do my best to sneak in a holiday (any holiday!) whenever I can.

Now, this is where the problem comes in. Most of the time, I only have time for a short getaway so I choose places like Bangkok, Krabi, Bali etc. It’s easy to think that you save more by going to neighbouring countries because there are budget airlines that get you there, the Singapore dollar’s strong blah blah. But no!! If you think about it, a “quick” vacation can easily cost you $1,000!

Let’s take a 4D3N trip to Bali for example. Give and take, this is how the breakdown will be like:

  • Flight tickets – $320
  • Accommodation (3-4 stars) – S$150 x 3 = $450
  • Food and drinks and shopping – $400

Wow that’s already $1,170. Of course, you can share a room with your friend but my point is, these trips aren’t cheap! Save up and go on a really big holiday (if you can) :D

4. Online shopping

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been stressed/frustrated at work and then I type asos into my google search bar. Free shipping, constant sale items. HOW NOT TO BUY! It would be foolish not to buy! Plus, there are now also lots of other local blog shops that have made payments so much easier. No more bank transfer or meetup blah blah. Just use paypal! Or your credit card. A dress costs about $30. That seems decent! BUY 3 DRESSES! $90! Bye bye money..

Moral of the story? Tahan. Or practice better self-control. Have a buddy. Someone that can help keep you in check. Confess everytime you make an online purchase. Remember, if you’re hiding your buys, you’re doing it all wrong. You’re in trouble! Save it and splurge on a nice bag (ok, I did not just say that *slaps mouth).

And oh yes! Bellabox! Glamabox! All these beautiful boxes priced at super reasonable prices, giving you the illusion that you get more bang for your buck. The concept is marvellous. But it costs money (not lots but still)! I’m not sure about the rest, but I now have a lot of sample bottles at home. Untouched. I have since cancelled my subscription. I’m fuss-free. Good ol’ Garnier works fine for me.

5. Movies, Plays, Concerts

What is there to do in Singapore? Eat. Shop. Watch movies! We’re lucky that we’re a country that’s bursting with local talent. Singers, plays and shows also love to come by Singapore because we’re an awesome country! Bad, bad, bad for me. I love going to live concerts, plays etc. So how? Spend money again. Le sigh.

ā™¦ā™¦ā™¦

There, I’ve told the world where I spend most of my money on. I can’t stop what I enjoy doing but I can sure as hell strive to be a better saver!

That is all.

Thank you for reading and I hope you save tons of money too!

HUAT AH!

Picture of my cute doggie, Seven, to end this post

Are you afraid?

Every couple of days. Sometimes weeks. But it always comes back.

I’m talking about that feeling of vulnerability. The feeling of putting yourself out there, in the bare, praying that you don’t get destroyed.

Getting destroyed by circumstance is bad enough but getting peeled open, feeling like an awkward teenager, and attacked for your insecurities is painful. As much as you hide it, the feeling is raw.

You feel alone when you should be feeling like a mighty bond.

The sun sets just as it rises everyday so you just trudge on.

Trudging and hoping it’ll soon be a stroll.

Smile More

It was just to pass him something, but it ended up being the highlight of my week.

I realise I’m not alone in this pursuit to greater things. There are many people, just like me, who are genuine in making good art. It doesn’t matter what qualifications you have, what fluff you generate – the truth will prevail and real success is sweet.

Singaporeans are a scared bunch – me included. We’re so scared of being the odd one because the different ones are scrutinised.. They’re shunned and most of all, it’s hard to make a living being a misfit. Everyone wants to plunge but how many do? Some jump in the puddles and get their shoes wet, but how many of us actually take. the. plunge?

It’s fear. Fear that we’ll never live up to our parents expectations. Fear that we’ll be laughed upon should we fail.

It’s also society. We’ve been brought up in a society where we’ve been taught to conform. It’s much easier if we play by the rules. So even if we hate the design of our HDBs, there’s not much we can do because everyone needs a roof over their head.

We should venture. Be a brave explorer. The pursuit to happiness is much simpler than we make it to be.

This Feeling

Your chest feels tight. You feel as if there’s a two ton concrete slab placed above your chest.

With rough edges.

You feel heavy, carrying the weight of the world on your back.

There’s no outlet.

You feel lethargic, each step harder to make than the one before.

You want to scream but there’s no voice. You want some comfort but there’s none.

It’s simple yet difficult, yet without a doubt, always worth it.

It’s sad…

I’ve been pondering about today’s blog entry.. I slept on it and woke up feeling slightly better but am getting all edgy again so here I am.. Banging on my keyboard, churning out my frustrations towards mankind.

It started like this. I was taking the train home from work when a heavily pregnant woman boarded. The lady at the ā€œreserved seatā€ was old so fine, I donā€™t expect her to give up her seat. The train was really packed (think rush hour plus train delays, first worldā€¦) and there was a middle-aged couple seated.. So of course, youā€™d expect the guy to give up his seat, no?

Well, he didnā€™t. He eyed the pregnant woman head to toe as she was standing right in front of him and decided to SLEEP. The guy on his earphones beside him saw the pregnant woman too and simply appeared aloof. What is happening here?

I said ā€œexcuse me, but thereā€™s a pregnant woman and she would like a seatā€ and no one bothered about me. Iā€™m not mousey so Iā€™m sure someone heard. NO one flinched. So I shouted ā€œOEI!ā€ and then the ā€œsleepingā€ man woke up from his slumber.. So did his girlfriend who then nudged him to stand up for the pregnant woman.

Hurray the pregnant woman got a seat. End of story? No. The sleeping woman told me that I could have tried ā€œexcuse meā€ instead of saying ā€œoeiā€ to which I replied, ā€œwell, if you werenā€™t ā€˜sleepingā€™ you would have heard me the first timeā€.

My point is, I understand people are tired after work. Everyone wants a seat on the crowded train. But how can you eye a pregnant woman eye to toe and then decide to continue sleeping. It makes me so mad I feel like crying!

How can any girl choose to be with a man who doesnā€™t have it in his heart to love others?

If your partner canā€™t reach out a helping hand for the needy, if he canā€™t treat a lady right, if he canā€™t be a fuckin gentleman, whatever the excuse is, trust me when I say your relationship is in trouble.

The Heart

Over local hawker delights and a cold glass of sugarcane and water chestnut drink, my friend and I spoke about infidelity.

What makes men cheat on their wives? Why do some women think itā€™s acceptable behaviour, telling their husbands, ā€œdo what you want outside, just donā€™t let me knowā€ or ā€œjust donā€™t come back and give me a horrible attitudeā€.

Cheating might have ā€œworkedā€ in the past as Asian wives were often uneducated and stayed at home to take care of the children, the house etc. totally dependent on their husbands to look after them financially.Ā  In short, they were suffering inside.

Men, no woman will ever be ok with you lusting over another woman.

Why do men work so hard for something that seemed so unattainable, get it, and then throw it all away?

Marriage is sacred. It is a gift. It is a commitment made in front of God to cherish each other in good times and in bad. Marriage should not be taken for granted.

Take care of your partner not just in health, but also the state of his/her emotionalĀ well-being.

Credit: Getty Images

What I miss about Down Under

I’ve been back in Singapore for almost two and a half years. Time flies, I remember dreading my graduation because it meant that I would be back in this shit hole.. Away from the things I loved and enjoyed doing.

I graduated after spending four years in Australia, got back to Singapore and landed a job almost immediately. So it was wham wham wham ā€“ no time to process, no time to feel.

I used to cry a lot at night when I first got back.. I felt like I was gonna crumble and die in the crowd and heat. It was a snowball of factors that made me feel breathless.. The stress I experienced on a daily basis was a silent killer.

Itā€™s quite amazing how Iā€™ve managed to block out certain events and memories with time. Itā€™s not easy but itā€™s a conscious effort. My memory used to be superb (to the point of being scary) but now, it doesnā€™t remember much beyond a year.

Today, I am going to reminisce (force myself to remember) about the times I had in Brisbane because you cannot avoid memories. They will only haunt you further.

I miss (you will realise itā€™s a lot on food):

  • Being lonely at times (how odd..)
  • Betty. My crap but reliable 1990 white Honda Civic hatchback which eventually got smashed by some drunk while parked
  • Bringing every damn tourist to Mt Coot-tha
  • Buying credit for my shit but stable phone
  • Checking the mail every couple of days, hoping to find something interesting ā€“ a letter from home, a good deal from Coles and dockets for Dominos at a cheaper price
  • Chopping up lots of stuff (onions, garlics, fishcakes, cabbage, carrots etc.) in very neat bits to fry up a mean fried beehoon
  • Coffee sessions at La Dolce Vita aka Little Italy at Milton, Three Monkeys at West End and Freestyle at Emporium
  • Crispy chicken from Toowong. I donā€™t even know what the shop was called.. We just called it ā€œcrispy chickenā€ and I would pay 50c-$1 more for extra chilli
  • Driving down an hour to the coast just to get to a beach
  • Going at 140km/hr in a rattling car on the motorway
  • Going for night classes and meeting friends from all over the world
  • Having indo mee when during exam periods
  • Having late night maccas at Milton. In my jammies
  • Hunting for breakfast joints
  • Korean food from Madtongsan
  • Late night Thursdays in the suburbs and Fridays in the city
  • Lena buzzing my bell LIKE HELL daily to wake me up in time for Oprah and Dr Phil at 12pm
  • Lying by the hill at Mt Tambourine, overlooking the vast valley of trees and shrubs
  • My 20th ā€“ 23rd birthday celebrations
  • My family. My cousins and aunts
  • My friends. A LOT.
  • Roadtrips!
  • Roast meat at Chinatown, together with the power-mama chilli and ginger
  • Shopping at Harbourtown
  • Stocking up on Red Bull and V during exams.. Huddling in my study chair with a blankie and a heater under the table
  • Studying. I was quite the mugger and note-churning machine
  • Super yummy authentic Taiwanese bubble tea (this was before we had Koi and Gong Cha in Singapore)
  • That huge slab of salmon sushi (I donā€™t even know how to explain this sushi to you.. Just know that itā€™s super yummy) and Hamachi head from Yamasakura at Surfers Paradise
  • The citycat along the beautiful Brisbane River
  • The Saturday markets at West End. Langosā€¦ OMGGG itā€™s fucking yum
  • The WEATHER. The cool crisp air!
  • Trying to wake up for church every Saturday
  • Waiting forever for the 412 to get to the city
  • Walking every aisle of the supermarket
  • Waxing for an exorbitant amount of money.. anything beauty-related in Australiaā€™s super expensive

Ok Iā€™m gonna stop because Iā€™m getting too hungry and slightly emo.